Dating Advice

Irritating or Endearing?

By Kara Oh

Have you ever noticed how when you're getting to know someone they can do no wrong? Everything they do is endearing, charming, funny or romantic. Then have you noticed that those same characteristics can become irritating after the newness wears off?

To help keep this from happening write down those endearing qualities while you're still dating. Write down what you like about them, how they make you feel, and how they make you feel about the person you're falling in love with. Then, if you continue in your relationship, read the list once in a while to keep those feelings alive. If you've been in relationship for a while and those qualities have become irritations, think back to when you were falling in love and now make your list. Reconnect with those feelings that you had when you were falling in love and enjoy their qualities again.

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Many of the things we're attracted to initially have to do with our opposites. If someone is quiet they might be attracted to a gregarious person. After a time, because it's not the quiet person's nature, gregariousness could begin to become a problem, an irritation. Often we're attracted to our opposites because a part of us would like that quality. Or maybe there's some kind of lesson, like patience, that we need to learn.

Relationships are filled with the potential for self discovery and personal growth. We can learn from those things that our partner does to push our buttons. We can stretch and compromise. If we stay open minded and have the desire to learn from life, relationship can be the fast track to self discovery.

Kara Oh is the best-selling author of numerous relationship books including Men Made Easy, Marriage Made Easy, and Women Made Easy.

Kara has been interviewed on hundreds of radio and TV shows across the country in cities like New York, Atlanta, Las Vegas, Chicago, and Philadelphia, and signed books in bookstores in every major (and a few not so major) city. She has featured in magazines like Cosmopolitan and Women's World. She is an enlightening and entertaining public speaker and has traveled to all the major US cities sharing her insights about what makes men tick and how to create amazing relationships.